7 questions with our experts at Virginia Treatment Center for Children about managing mental health as another academic year begins
As summer winds down some kids are eager to get back to the classroom and among their friends, while others may be feeling quite the opposite. James and Ashley Fisher, pediatric mental health nurse practitioners, explain the uneasiness that can come with returning to school and how parents may be able to help.
Why do some children get anxious about returning to school after summer break?
James: Some kids get very nervous about socializing with their peers. We also see anxiety about schoolwork, especially with kids going from elementary to middle or middle to high school. They’re often concerned about the transition, expectations, amount of homework, etc.
Bullies are another thing. As kids are going back to school, they’re facing potentially being bullied again which is a very real concern.
Ashley: I hear kids talking about pressure from their parents to succeed. They get anxious about their grades and start to feel overwhelmed, which can lead to other symptoms like sadness or depression.
How does back-to-school anxiety differ at different ages?
James: Typically the transition between middle school and high school is when we see teens feeling a lot of pressure about grades. Then the older teens in 11th and 12th grades are starting to think about what happens next. Am I going to college? Should I go to trade school? Am I going to move away from home?
For the younger kiddos, their anxiety is more often related to being separated from their parents and caregivers. Or they may worry if their friends are going to be in the same class, or at lunch or recess. Who am I going to sit with? Who am I going to talk to at lunch?
Ashley: Sports and other activities can also play a role. Kids are very involved, which can lead to stress and feeling overwhelmed, especially coming off of a summer break that may have been more relaxed.
What are some signs a child may be experiencing back-to-school anxiety?
Ashley: Not wanting to participate in getting ready to go back to school – getting their school supplies or new school clothes – could be an indicator they’re feeling anxious. If they're like, “Oh, whatever, I'll wear that too small shirt from 2 years ago. I don't really care,” that tells you something may be going on.
James: Refusal is a big sign as well. They may complain of stomachaches, nausea or headaches. Instead of telling you they don’t want to go, they'll make up an excuse. Or they'll get to school and then call home asking to be picked up.
Isolation is another one, especially if your child was once very social or liked being involved in a lot of activities. If you’re noticing they want to be by themselves a lot, that’s a sign they may have concerns.
How can parents help their child prepare for the first day of school?
James: Every child is different, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all approach. The first thing I would say is talk to your child and figure out their needs and wants rather than trying to guess. You could ask if anything specific is concerning them, or if there’s anything you can do to help them feel confident going to school.
Ashley: For the younger ones, interactive activities are often helpful – like pros and cons, what are you looking forward to about school, what are some things you’re worried about? You could use pictures to help them share their thoughts.
With older kids and teens, you could try having a roundtable at dinner. Talk about plans for packing or buying lunch, what they may need before school starts, etc. Just having simple conversations where someone hears them and cares about them can be very helpful.
Journaling can help too as a way for them to get their thoughts out. If they’re comfortable sharing, it provides an opportunity to be relatable as a parent. I think kids often feel like adults haven’t gone through what they’re experiencing, so it’s an opportunity to share your personal experiences.
James: It’s also okay to share that as adults we still struggle with feelings of anxiety with things like presentations or meeting new people. It shows them they’re not alone and it’s something all humans experience in different ways throughout life.
Do you have any tips for handling a child’s refusal to go to school?
James: Tying it to something they like can be a first step. If they don’t attend school, perhaps they can’t play video games or participate in their sports or other extracurricular activities. The thought of losing privileges can sometimes be enough motivation.
Ashley: If it's becoming a chronic problem, the school can often help. Get in touch with the guidance counselor to find out what options exist. Perhaps they can leave the classroom and take a break in the nurse’s clinic for a few moments when they’re feeling overwhelmed, or they could work out a schedule for half days. The school may be able to assign a team member to check in with your child on a regular cadence. Counselors can also help with IEPs and 504 plans if needed.
Schools have a lot of resources so you don’t have to navigate this alone – and if they don’t have a particular resource, they can point you in the right direction.
What resources are available for families that may need a little extra help with mental health concerns beyond what’s available at school?
James: The pediatrician or primary care doctor is a good start, especially if your child doesn’t have an established relationship with a mental health provider. They can make a referral or prescribe medication if needed.
Ashley: VTCC also has our Outpatient Consult Clinic, where we offer timely assessments to talk with your child, provide resources and recommendations, and then get them set up with outpatient appointments if needed. Our case management team can help with accessing resources within the community depending on where you live as well.
Is there anything else you’d share with parents about mental health as their kids prepare for a new school year?
James: Be careful with social media. It plays a big role in kids’ and teens’ anxiety, how they view themselves and even their eating habits. Monitor their social media and their friend groups. It's not that you're being a nosy parent, but rather checking in and making sure they’re okay and safe.
Ashley: Stay connected and engaged. I’ve had many kids tell me, “Well, if my mom and dad had just asked, I would have told them.” It may seem like they don’t want to talk or answer questions, but keeping the lines of communication open is so important.
James: If at any time you feel like your child is making concerning comments, such as, “I can't do this anymore,” or “I can’t keep feeling this way” – those are big red flags. Please reach out for help.