Child and adolescent psychiatry physician assistant Iveshia Ford answers these 7 questions about what parents should think about before their child logs on for the first time.
Many teens spend hours scrolling through social media. Though there can be benefits, it’s important to be mindful about screen time and exposure to networking sites.
What are some things parents should consider when determining when to allow their children to begin using social media?
In today’s age, it’s hard to avoid social media completely, but you can progressively increase your child’s access as they get older. For example, maybe a child can have an anonymous account as a young teen but when they get a bit older, they can have a private account followed by real life friends and family where they can post about their life. At the end of the day, you’re the best judge of your child's maturity level. Are they responsible and generally avoid impulsive behaviors? Are they able to understand that what they see online might not be true and interactions have the potential to be harmful? These are all important considerations when deciding on the right time for social media.
What impact does social media have on mental health?
Like any tool, it can be used for good and bad. Social media provides people with the ability to learn about themselves and the world. It can also influence identity, self-esteem, values and body image – significant areas of development in adolescents.
What have you learned from patients about social media’s impact on their lives?
Most kids really like social media because it’s entertaining and they feel like they’re connected to their peers. I find dependence on it to be deeper in kids who aren’t involved in any extracurriculars. Kids and teens also tend to use social media to distract from things they don’t want to think about. I often encourage alternatives like doing a quick workout, crafting, listening to music, journaling or calling a friend.
What signs should parents look for that may indicate social media is problematic for their child?
If your child isn’t doing well with schoolwork or not getting enough sleep, physical activity, or social interaction because of it, encourage them to cut back. If they’re picking up bad habits or engaging in topics not appropriate for their age, reconsider if the benefits outweigh the cons.
Are there any specific boundaries you’d recommend?
If you ban social media (even if it’s for the best) kids and teens aren’t likely to truly understand why and as a result, they may sneak around to gain access. I’d encourage enacting healthy boundaries instead, like:
- Turning off Wi-Fi/data at certain times of the day is one option.
- Installing parental controls and using children-centered sites which can limit access to certain material. Apps like Instagram Teen, YouTube kids or Bark are good options. Keep in mind these controls are not foolproof, especially if your child is more tech savvy than you expect.
- Only allowing younger kids to use internet-connected devices in communal spaces where you can keep an eye on them.
Do you have any recommendations for monitoring adolescents’ social media use while also developing/maintaining trust?
Teens want to feel more independent, like adults. Have conversations with your child about expectations. Discuss consequences if this “contract” isn’t upheld. Perhaps you can have scheduled or unscheduled check-ins with them to review their social media. Instill in them that you care about them above all else. Encourage open lines of communication so if they have concerns or questions about something that happened online, they’re comfortable talking to you about it.
What else should parents do?
Encourage your child to always treat others with respect online. They shouldn’t be tempted to engage in negative/harmful discourse, instead they should ignore it or report it. Remind your child that not everyone online is honest and might not be who they say they are. They should also exercise similar caution when making online purchases. Plus, explain the permanency or what’s being posted online and the long-term and potentially legal consequences.