After a multi-decade career as a local government manager and raising two kids of his own, a soft-spoken, kind-hearted retiree was looking for a new way to make a difference. He found it in the neonatal intensive care unit at CHoR.
Dave Whitlow arrives in the NICU at 8:30 a.m. and starts making laps through the unit’s figure eight of hallways. It never takes long before he discovers an opportunity to team up and help.
Dave is a volunteer cuddler, rallying around infants and team members, bringing joy and relief to the NICU every Tuesday and Friday.
Finding the perfect fit in retirement
The self-proclaimed introvert began looking for a way to give back after retiring from his 43-year career in local government in 2017.
“I walked dogs at a shelter and volunteered in the pharmacy at a free health clinic, then at a food pantry. All that was good, but didn’t quite scratch the itch,” he said.
Dave was looking for a change of pace from his days in the working world, but wanted to find something that would equally fulfill his deep-seated desire to make life better for others. He started his volunteer service at CHoR by distributing books to kids in our Children’s Pavilion, then cuddling babies in the Mother-Infant Unit who were experiencing neonatal abstinence syndrome after being exposed to drugs in the womb. He transitioned to the NICU a couple months later.
This “super cuddler” has become an essential member of the CHoR NICU team
He expected the tiny, adorable babies, but his role in the NICU came with a couple surprises too. First was how the team immediately took him in as one of their own.
“He’s such an important part of the interdisciplinary team in the NICU,” said Elizabeth, a registered nurse who rotates through units across CHoR, often caring for patients in the NICU.
“I interface with nurses, therapists and doctors. I didn’t realize how closely I’d be working with them,” Dave said. “What I don’t want to do is be a burden on the staff. Everyone is busy so I look for where I can help and jump in.”
On Tuesdays – or eye exam days in the NICU – this often involves following the ophthalmologist from room to room and cheering babies up. He also keeps tabs on the feeding schedule and visits with babies who are waiting for their turn to eat. Somehow, Dave knows just what to do to calm them down.
“Nurses breathe a sigh of relief with Dave comes in, knowing that he can handle even the crankiest baby, so the nurse can focus attention to nursing tasks, but ensure the baby gets the developmental care for soothing they need,” Elizabeth added.
Dave’s second surprise was how complex the equipment is in the NICU.
“There’s quite a reason this is called an intensive care unit,” he said, noting that patient acuity has gone up in his 8 years as a cuddler. “I mean, what an amazing place that can take a baby born at 22 weeks gestation and help them thrive.”
Many of the babies he visits are connected to wires and machines supporting their fragile systems. If a nurse asks him to hold one of these precious patients, he’ll often spend an hour or more with them, knowing the work involved in getting them out of their bassinet and into his arms. He watches the monitors to make sure they’re responding well. It was a little daunting at first, but he knows he’s one piece of a big team.
“The staff is really, really good at being on top of everything medical. They’ll be here in an instant if needed,” he said.
A peaceful presence that helps the NICU team members and their tiny patients alike
Some babies can’t come out of their incubators, but that doesn’t mean they don’t benefit from a visit with Dave. “I’ll talk to them, hold their hand and rub their forehead to try to calm them down right in their bed.”
“He knows when we need him the most and he just comes in with happy hands and heart. His presence brings a sense of warmth and calm,” said Gabrielle, a registered nurse on the unit. “He genuinely cares about these kids and the benefits of human contact. You can tell he’s passionate about it.”
“We adore him,” agreed unit secretary, Maya. “You can always tell a difference when he’s around. He brings energy bars for the team too. He takes care of us and the kids.”
Dave has learned a lot over the years. For instance, he knows the feeling of a child who isn’t used to being held – often his cue to stay with them a bit longer. He’s also become excellent at having conversations with the babies in the NICU, despite the fact that they’re a year or more from forming their first recognizable word.
“I’ll ask them if they want to go to sleep or stay awake,” he explained. If they’re focused on him, he’ll talk about how well they’re doing, or what they might be when they grow up. When their eyes are heavy, he’ll rock them to sleep.
Setting hundreds of babies up for success
Dave’s skills extend beyond expert cuddling. Sometimes you’ll find him standing next to a crib reading a book aloud, or sitting on a floor mat playing with a baby. The NICU team lovingly calls him the “baby whisperer,” but Dave says he simply learns what works for each baby and customizes what he does accordingly.
His calm demeanor is a blessing for families too.
“I don’t think anyone expects to be in the NICU and a lot of them are here for a long time. I try to give them a little break from their day-to-day. I’m not going to talk about anything medical because I don’t know anything medical,” he laughed.
On a busy day, Dave holds about eight babies, which he estimates has added up to more than 500 over the years. At the recent NICU reunion, he had a chance to see 7 and 8-year-old children he once held as preemies, now running, playing and laughing.
He hopes they’re following the mantra he shares with each baby before he gently places them back in their bassinet – “Grow strong, grow smart, grow kind.”
“As a community manager, I looked at everything from a broad view considering how it would impact the whole community today and in the future. Now I look at everything from 10 inches. I’m in the moment and it’s spectacular – the best gig I’ve ever had,” he said with a smile.
Treating the whole child and family
At CHoR, we treat the whole child and family, not just the illness or injury. Our team includes doctors, nurses, therapists, volunteers and more – all trained in the art and science of caring for kids.
You might recognize volunteer Dave’s sweet little friend from our television ad (below). Thank you to Dave and the countless team members who rally around our kids to provide unstoppable care.